Edge #4 - Keeping things in perspective

What I'm Reading

The Lessons of History is a series of essays that breaks down humanity into separate factors and how those have impacted us through 5,000 years of history. So, for example, in the first few chapters, the impact of geography, race and biology are explored. One idea that particularly stood out to me, is that two ideals that are very much ingrained in Western society are actually diametrically opposed. That is equality and freedom. It goes on to provide specific historical examples. I've only just started reading and I’m enjoying it so far; it presents some thought-provoking observations.

Resource of the Week

I discovered Notion just over two years ago. I would describe it as a mish-mash of a note-taking app, with elements of project management, database and spreadsheet features, to-do task list and calendar functionality. On top of that, it’s got some nifty features like relational links between databases.

The main advantage for me is it can combine what used to be multiple apps all under one roof, which is so powerful.

I use it every day. It basically runs my life. From tasks to weekly, monthly reviews, projects, goals to organising digital media and linking to knowledge items. For me, there was a learning curve, but it continues to pay off. If you’re interested, I created an entire Skillshare course. It’s free to access using this link which will give the first 1,000 people a free month to take any class on the site for free.

Quote

Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action.

Daniel Goleman

Thoughts

One of my first memories when moving into my family home in Surrey at 7 years old was being greeted by an elderly couple called Rose and Dave, who were our neighbours. They’re the kindest people I think I’ve ever met.

Rose and Dave were always there when we needed help. If I had trouble with my English homework or if mum and dad needed help filling out paperwork. I think most impressive of all they managed to put up with the noise output of our family for all those years and still remain so cheerful every time they saw us!

I particularly enjoyed the stories they would tell me of their travels when they were younger and how Dave proposed at Lake Como. They were so traditional. I loved it.

I saw less of Rose and Dave after I moved out. Although a few months ago, I was back at the family home. I was working on my car, something was bothering me, and I was really frustrated.

‘Hi Hans, how are you?’

It was Dave with a friendly smile.

‘I’m sorry Dave. I’m just a little busy, I can’t talk right now. Can I catch up later?’ I said, probably still with some impatience in my voice.

‘Sure Hans, sorry I don’t know that much about cars, can’t help you, good luck, have a good one, mate’.

That was the last time I spoke to Dave.

Last week, when I was home, my mum broke the news that Dave had passed away from cancer. I didn’t know how to react. It wasn’t right, looking over the fence, knowing I would never see Dave make his way to the garage and waving across with his signature smile again.

I let things like work, self-improvement, and errands make me forget what’s meaningful and take the important people in my life for granted. I don’t usually regret the things I do, but I wish I had expressed how much I appreciated them to Rose and Dave. How they influenced me. I wish I didn’t tell Dave I didn’t have time for him, when that’s all he ever had for me.

The message I want to share is to remember to a step back from time to time and put things in perspective. There’s nothing more important than people who are close to us. Don’t defer letting them know and expressing your thoughts. They can’t read your mind. Ask how they’re feeling. There’s always another urgent task, a problem you need to solve. But you’ll never get back the moments you neglected with the people in your life. It doesn’t even take much, sometimes just reaching out and showing you’re thinking about them is enough.

I just wanted to dedicate the issue this week to Dave.

Let me know any feedback, thoughts, or stories. Just reply to this email. I read and respond to every single one.